No matter how much the internet may change over the years, there are at least two constants: absurd flame wars, and the wildly specific message boards from which they’re wrought. Perhaps the greatest of these virtual cesspools is Clown-Forum.com, a forum for clowns.

It all started on New Year’s Eve 2008. With just hours separating these technologically savvy clowns from a new year, and a fresh start, one clown named Boogle decided to get something off her (as you will later see, rather voluptuous) chest.

After one clown, “Perry Noia” (get it?), helpfully suggested that perhaps Boogle and Lumpy’s overlap was a mere coincidence, Boogle revealed that the problem at hand goes far deeper than any of us could have imagined.

Five-year history! An even longer history of Lumpy being a thief. Jooniper, however, still had his (her?) doubts.

Jooniper, it seems, was being naive. Boogle had evidence—by god did Boogle have evidence. Here, for instance, is an example of Boogle’s own artwork:

And here is an example of what Lumpy purported to be her artwork, posted decidedly after Boogle’s own.

But if that’s not enough for you, Boogle has more damning evidence. Here’s another Boogle original:

And the corresponding Lumpy facsimile:

But wait! This thieving rabbit hole descends deeper still. Boogle’s done her research well. As you’ll note in this photo of Lumpy’s bedroom, there are several drawings hanging on the wall to the right.

Allow Boogle to zoom in for you.

Do you see the signatures? And then do you see the lack of signatures? Please follow the arrows.

Boogle goes on:

First and foremost, if you, too, were disappointed in Boogle’s decision to withhold her more “adult” works—we’ve regretfully done a little digging for you. Second: damn, Boogle.

Fortunately, not all the clowns of Clown-Forum.com were trying to just shrug off Boogle’s copyright concerns. Twiglet—who, it should be noted has since been banned for reasons unknown—provided the first sympathetic ear.

Real nice, says Twiglet. Real effing nice. To which Perry Noia counters:

Several more clowns threw in their two cents; some begged Boogle to cut it out with the drams and the cursing. Others sympathized with their fellow clown, believing her to be the victim of the situation. Until at long last, The Princess of Bozonia spoke.

The thread was closed. Where was Lumpy during all this? Did Boogle get the restitution she so desperately craved? And why was Perry Noia being such an uptight bitch? Some questions are better left unanswered. The important thing, though, is that we all learned a little bit more about erotic clown art today than any of us ever cared to know.


Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.