If you just saw some tweets about the United States and China engaged in naval combat and the pope declaring a third world war, don't be alarmed: we're pretty sure it's just someone fucking with a bad newspaper, a la CENTCOM.

The cyber prank hit both the Post, the least reliable newspaper in New York, and UPI, a newswire I had to google because I forgot what it was. So, it probably didn't fool that many people—except this guy for maybe a minute:

Now would also be the perfect time for China to actually start blowing up our boats, so stay tuned and heed only non-compromised media Twitter accounts.