Back in the wild west days of file sharing, and for a moment all too brief, Kazaa reigned king. And thanks to a recently reinvigorated Twitter account, we’re reminded of the complete and utter mess that was our Kazaa-fueled Winamp queue. So for the sake of nostalgia, we ask you: What are some of your best (which is to say, worst) Kazaa memories?

While most public figures have a hard time tweeting without at least one teen asking them to please sit on my face, daddy, the official Twitter account for Tony the Tiger, it seems, is dealing with an special breed of proposition. Because almost any time Tony tweets, the fawning furries of Twitter lose their shit.

Every so often, when it’s late and I’m procrastinating and everything else on the internet is suffused with vitriol and poison, I’ll type “funeral selfie” into my Twitter search bar. Pages of smiling, duck-faced teens dressed in black and surrounded by either flowers or caskets or actual cadavers stare back at me. And in this dissonant madness, I find peace.

On this day, September 2, in 2012, Piers Morgan, the then-CNN host, tweeted, simply, “I want to die.”

Remember planking? Remember how tired and unfunny it got in such a short amount of time? Thanks to Vice co-founder and anthropomorphized subreddit Gavin McInnes, the terrible internet trend of our past is back. And this time, it’s here to speak out against the atrocious shaming and reverse racism currently oppressing the country’s white males. Or something.

How far are you willing to go in the race for internet popularity? Would you buy a €1 lottery ticket for a shot at 25,000 new followers?

Some people role play to escape the dreariness of their day-to-day lives. Some people role play to bring back childhood memories. Some people role play to explore fantastical worlds of their own creation. I role play because I want to know the answer to the question “What if powerful and intimidating Bar Rescue host Jon Taffer interrupted anime demons having cybersex on Twitter?”

The hacker who broke into Taylor Swift's social media accounts now seems to be targeting her celebrity friends—or her celebrity fans, anyway. British pop singer Lily Allen Instagrammed a text message Thursday night from someone threatening to "hack u and kidnap u then rape ur gaping body," with the caption "Cool iMessage from some kid that got my number from hacking Taylor Swift's Twitter."

For a few minutes this week, Taylor Swift's official Twitter and Instagram accounts were being run by someone who is not Taylor Swift. She's back in control of her social media—but the hacker tells me he obtained private DMs—and nude photographs—and is attempting to sell them to TMZ.

Anita Sarkeesian became an involuntary protagonist of the GamerGate saga (and one of its top targets) after merely criticizing the way women are portrayed in videogames. That was last year. Today, one single week's worth of Twitter for her is a horrible, menacing hell.

Ever looked God straight in the eye? Here's the next best thing: the fellow who claims to have broken into Tayla Swift's Twitter account is tweeting what he claims are screenshots of her DMs with the stars. Take a look—just one peek.

Man comforts himself by pretending the universe is random, else he must accept that it is governed by a ruthless and spiteful God. Colon-killer Denny's runs a successful social media campaign pandering to slobs via tween-approved meme-speak. But when Ragu tries the exact same thing, no one cares. Its flailing attempts are agonizing to behold.

Like every other instance of vaguely subversive youth culture, text slang and internet jokes are now the property of people who want to sell you breakfast cereal and pasta sauce. One sub-Reddit called /r/FellowKids is dedicated to tracking all of these nauseating attempts at internet youthfulness.

If you just saw some tweets about the United States and China engaged in naval combat and the pope declaring a third world war, don't be alarmed: we're pretty sure it's just someone fucking with a bad newspaper, a la CENTCOM.

Three years ago, Junaid Hussain was convicted of breaking into Tony Blair's online contact list and spreading it across the net—now, Reuters reports he's the top suspect behind the Islamic State fanboy "Cyber Caliphate" attacks.

One of the things you learn when you spend any time reading ISIS Twitter is that ISIS Twitter is filled with the cutest darn jihadis you've ever seen.

On the evening of October 17, 2013, a Twitter user named SpreadButter issued the following tweet:

Until earlier today the Twitter account @555µHz was tweeting, as far as any of us can tell, the entirety of the 1986 motion picture Top Gun, one image at a time.