Are there too many websites? Obviously, yes: There are too many websites. Throw all the websites into the dumpster and set them on fire. But leave me the Official Turner County Sheriff's Office website. Because it is perfect.

Here is how you are welcomed:

This is among the loveliest and most pristine of the Web 1.0 relics that litter the internet. It is also intriguingly and engagingly complex. Some photos are links, some are not. Some links are also links, while some, interestingly enough, are not—so click everywhere. You never know what you'll find. For instance, you might think you've hit a dead end after clicking the "Investigations" button.

Not so! Clicking the photo on your right brings you to another blank page, but this one only autoplays the Unsolved Mysteries theme song and contains absolutely no other content.

If you're looking for press releases or any sort of news, don't bother because none of those buttons work. But you can get a glimpse at their Mobile D.U.I Enforcement Trailer.

Also worth visiting is the page dedicated to an odd traffic-themed adaptation of the well-worn Jekyll and Hyde trope, this time in the form of a pro-seatbelt puppet. From the Sheriff's Office itself:

This robot can talk with and interact with the students. The robot has two distinct personalities "Harry" as seen here is speaking to kids at the elementary school about seat belt safety (as u can see Harry is buckled up!) , and Deputy Do-rite. Deputy Do-rite makes his appearances in full uniform (campaign hat and all).

As u can see.

It's hard to fault the sheriffs for employing a robot puppet when, according to the "Divisions" pages, they seem to be in the middle of a severe staffing drought.

Pray for Jody.

Contact the author at ashley@gawker.com.